Its no one’s fault. It’s not her fault, or my fault, or my dad’s fault.  Sometimes, being adopted is great. Sometimes it sucks.

We had a great evening. We sang the song of her adoption, did a meditation and had a great oatmeal dinner.   It was a good ending to a sad day.

She was asked not to return to her day care.

I explained this to her, some say I shouldn’t have, but no one likes getting bit. It was also a sad day because we have seen this coming. When she was two we asked for a referral for therapy, but our state does not refer children under three.  Which brings me to my next point


Which means the money that we are scheduled to recieve upon adoption may not be there.  It means that the therapy she is just now getting will not be covered after her adoption.  For us, its not a problem. No, we’re not rich, we’re just dedicated to this child.  Will cut backs  prevent us from adopting any other children out of the foster care system? Maybe.

Adoption assistance will also deter many other middle and middle-low income families from adopting. It ensures that more kids will be stuck in foster homes and never experience a “forever” family.  Here is some information:

From the North American Council Adoptable Children  report

The Value of Subsidies.  A NACAC report

  • Subsidies ensure that children experience the benefits of adoption.
  • Adoption subsidies make it possible for special needs children to find forever families who require additional resources  to help them thrive.
  • adoption subsidies save billions of dollars–government saving for 50,000 children adopted from foster care could range from 3.3-6.3 billion dollars when compared to maintaining those  youth in care until they are 18.

More on this later…now, lunch.



Add yours →

  1. You are blogobeautiful! Write more about the conversation about not being asked to daycare

  2. Do you have any info about these cuts and whether they’ll affect all states? This is a little scary. We are lucky enough to be able to care for a child without that help, but with a special needs kid the adoption assistance (if he can’t be reunited with mom) would make a humongous difference in the tangibles and experiences we can offer him. Scary that this is being cut. Why is it always the most vulnerable, and those who care for the most vulnerable, who get screwed over?

    • Hey Bryna…
      that’s why there is more to come. I heard about these cuts at my foster care meeting. But I can not seem to find any thing from the last legislative hearing that suggests this. What I have found is that the language says the subsidies will be “negotiates” which is new to me since I thought the process was automatic.

      I suggest calling your state rep, or an advocacy group. I’ll do that tommorow.

      Also, find out if your child’s parents received any government services..If they did not then (at least in my state) your child won’t be IV-E eligible. Which means not $ after adoption.

  3. we don’t seem to have anything similar in the works in our state. i don’t know how these could be federal changes, because i can’t find anything that leads me to believe there will be cuts in our state. am i just not looking for the right thing? i will contact our advocacy org at some point, but right now my guy is in the psych hospital so i’m preoccupied. i know IV-E is federal, but why then can’t i find anything about IV-E cuts online? state subsidies are always negotiable, from what i know – they give you an amount based on your child’s level of need in this state (based on how special-needs they are) and then you can negotiate for more money or more medical coverage based on their needs. child’s birth family’s financial / gov’t aid status has nothing to do with a child’s IV-E eligibility as far as i can tell in my state or other states i’ve been in. that wouldn’t even make any sense! how messed up taht they do it that way where you live. it appears to be pretty easy here to get subsidized adoption of a foster child (and in the last state i lived, too), esp for an older kid or a kid with special needs of any sort. of course i could end up being wrong and big changes are afoot that no one knows about yet. but my state has been good about not de-funding CPS for the past few years.

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