The morning of Ladybug’s (no, not her real name) adoption was less enthusiastic than Macheesy’s . I am beginning to wonder if Bug’s milestones will always be like this since she is the youngest. The only thing we did different this time around was remind myself that her next milestone will be big and separate from her sisters.
For Macheesy, being the oldest and most intense has served her. Her entire being demands all of one’s focus. This has actually been a gift for me . In caring for Macheesy, I have realized my own need for emotional and mental support—and meds.
Among the soup of services, that Macheesy receives for her “needs,” none of them matches the care that her sister, Bug, brings to the table. For the first year of her life Bug was raised by a loving foster Mom who equipped her with bonding skills and smiles. She is physically and emotionally softer than Macheesy, but she is not a doormat. She is able to deflect and roll back much of the toughness her sister asserts on her-she observes and absorbs it. As a result it she can pull Macheesy’s hair in protest of bad behavior and seconds later allow her big sis to cradle her as an act of atonement.
I often remind myself that Bug is her own self and was not given to us to soothe her sister. Her own positive attitude, fluency in non-verbal behavior , and gregarious personality will catapult her into healthy relationships and a positive lifestyle. She is also the neatest person in our home. God has huge plans for her. For BOTH of them really. I believe the following blessings in our lives have helped them so far become two of the coolest chics I know.
- God for answering my prayers for motherhood.
- Friends: and by that I mean South Bend Friends Meeting AND girlfriends who let me whine. But also, their own friends in the neighborhood who protect them and teach them to play fair.
- Dad/Chris: Who delays thesis writing daily to watch “Sean the Sheep,” with the girls and do laundry regularly.
- Family: Grandma, Mimi & PopPop, Uncle Steven, Aunt Shirley, Aunt Sue, Aunt Mary and Uncle Ben, Gramma Marie and Grandpa Eddie. Your forever commitment contributes love and a sense of wholeness to the girls (and respite for mom and dad).
- Birth Mothers: Its hard to say, but I can’t really leave them out can I? Our family sends you much light, Love and gratefulness-even when its tough.
- Our Psychologist
- Our Physical Therapist
- Our playgroup
- Our God daughter for prepaid babysitting without complaints-even when you should.
- More friends for endless yesses, for spending quality time and great photos and experiences, for Macs first visit and feeding Macs soul during her transition to our home.